1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:18,626 --> 00:00:22,640 Once upon a time there was a blue planet... Earth. 4 00:00:22,801 --> 00:00:26,481 On this planet some 6 billion people lived together, - 5 00:00:26,641 --> 00:00:31,161 - for better or for worse, in war, in love. 6 00:00:33,041 --> 00:00:36,801 But there was also life on another planet. 7 00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:44,761 Its population was not as diverse: they only knew war, not love. 8 00:00:46,721 --> 00:00:51,481 So mankind had something they really wanted... 9 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:59,921 ... namely: love. That is how our story begins... 10 00:01:00,881 --> 00:01:04,881 ... and things are going to get a lot worse. 11 00:02:12,721 --> 00:02:15,721 THE SUBSTITUTE 12 00:02:19,201 --> 00:02:24,961 "The Most Powerful Force in the Universe" - 13 00:02:25,121 --> 00:02:28,321 - is Jesper Osboell's sensational book... 14 00:02:44,721 --> 00:02:48,121 Blow me if that ain't that fox... 15 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,121 What are ye at? 16 00:03:09,281 --> 00:03:14,481 Ye knows I want peace and quiet after seven p.m.! 17 00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:17,081 Get me? 18 00:03:18,881 --> 00:03:23,561 I never seed such a flock of lousy chick'ns. 19 00:03:25,241 --> 00:03:29,441 Pull yer socks up! That goes for you, too. 20 00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:31,641 Yeah, you. You heard me. 21 00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:07,441 Come here. 22 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,401 Come here. 23 00:04:21,121 --> 00:04:26,161 You write "man has an ability possessed by no other... 24 00:04:32,441 --> 00:04:35,921 "...the ability to love, to show compassion, empathy". 25 00:04:36,081 --> 00:04:42,281 "Love makes man unique". Jesper Osboell, these are great words. 26 00:04:42,441 --> 00:04:45,841 Well, we aren't exactly physical masterpieces: 27 00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:48,721 We can't live under water, we can't fly, - 28 00:04:48,881 --> 00:04:51,761 - we can't run very fast, we get cold easily. 29 00:04:51,921 --> 00:04:56,441 However, we are sublime at buoying each other up. 30 00:04:57,601 --> 00:05:01,921 - We possess the ability to love. - Exactly. 31 00:05:02,081 --> 00:05:05,801 The most powerful force in the universe. 32 00:05:11,361 --> 00:05:15,081 Well, that's perhaps an oversimplification, but... 33 00:05:15,241 --> 00:05:20,681 ... our ability to feel empathy makes us unique as individuals. 34 00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:23,481 - Whom do you love? - Me? 35 00:05:28,881 --> 00:05:31,761 I'm just saying you look much cuter with short hair. 36 00:05:31,921 --> 00:05:34,281 I'd much rather have long hair. 37 00:05:34,441 --> 00:05:36,681 - I look stupid. - You look cute. 38 00:05:37,881 --> 00:05:39,961 I don't want to talk about it. 39 00:05:40,121 --> 00:05:44,881 It's ugly, ugly, ugly, it's ugly, ugly, ugly, it's ugly... 40 00:05:45,041 --> 00:05:48,601 - Lots of boys my age have long hair. - Ugly, ugly, ugly... 41 00:05:48,761 --> 00:05:50,921 Nice, nice, nice... 42 00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:55,041 "This is my daughter. Caroline." 43 00:05:55,201 --> 00:05:57,521 No, mum, my name's Carl. 44 00:05:57,681 --> 00:06:00,921 - I like it and so does dad. - He has no idea. 45 00:06:01,081 --> 00:06:04,601 Just look at the clothes he wears! 46 00:06:53,521 --> 00:06:56,201 Does this look OK? 47 00:07:31,721 --> 00:07:35,281 - Something stinks. - What's that smell? 48 00:07:35,441 --> 00:07:40,161 Is it the hair or the gear he's wearing? You're disgusting. 49 00:07:40,321 --> 00:07:43,041 You smell like a cow. 50 00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:47,001 Do you want to hear a story? 51 00:07:49,441 --> 00:07:56,001 Once there were two testicles: one called Tobias; the other, Malthe. 52 00:07:56,161 --> 00:08:00,521 - And they were really, really sad. - Albert, you're sick. 53 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:04,121 - Because they were homeless. - Why were they homeless? 54 00:08:04,281 --> 00:08:07,001 - Because they had no prick. - Very funny. 55 00:08:12,681 --> 00:08:17,361 Excuse me... excuse me, children. could we have a wee bit of quiet? 56 00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:26,961 First of all I'd awfully like to introduce you to, er...? 57 00:08:27,121 --> 00:08:32,521 - Rikke. - Rikke's new. Do be nice to her. 58 00:08:32,681 --> 00:08:36,721 Rikke comes from...? 59 00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:40,161 - Aalborg. - Aalborg. Aalborg is... 60 00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:46,401 ... up north, but you know that. Rikke's moved here with her... 61 00:08:46,561 --> 00:08:49,481 - Mum. - Yes, I knew that, Rikke. 62 00:08:49,641 --> 00:08:53,601 I think there's room for you over there. 63 00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:59,601 And Jette has come down with a bad case of salmonella poisoning. 64 00:08:59,761 --> 00:09:03,241 Anyway, every cloud has a silver lining. 65 00:09:03,401 --> 00:09:07,401 - But, sir! Sir! - So you're to have a substitute. 66 00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:12,721 And I can assure you you are really fortunate because... 67 00:09:12,881 --> 00:09:13,921 Yes, Lotte? 68 00:09:14,081 --> 00:09:16,281 My mum and dad are teachers. 69 00:09:16,441 --> 00:09:21,441 They say substitute teachers have to be as good as ordinary ones. 70 00:09:21,601 --> 00:09:26,281 Or the teaching will be much worse while our teacher is ill - 71 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:28,481 - and we won't learn as much. 72 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:32,521 What exactly did you want to ask me, Lotte? 73 00:09:32,681 --> 00:09:37,721 Is she a real teacher who's just as good as Jette? 74 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:42,561 Ulla has been seconded here from the ministry of education. 75 00:09:42,721 --> 00:09:45,321 Ulla wants a class to represent Denmark - 76 00:09:45,481 --> 00:09:49,161 - in a super EU project. You'll be given tests - 77 00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:51,481 - and if you are REALLY good, - 78 00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:55,401 - well, you will all be getting a trip to Paris! 79 00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:07,880 You can have the rest of the day off. 80 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:12,481 Aren't we going to be given any homework for today at all? 81 00:10:14,041 --> 00:10:18,161 Carl? Haven't you got an appointment with Claus? 82 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:31,266 I hear you're still not getting on with the rest of your class? 83 00:10:34,053 --> 00:10:34,933 Really. 84 00:10:39,601 --> 00:10:44,161 You have this hatred inside you; I understand that. 85 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,493 Shall we talk about your mother today? 86 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:04,720 I had a dream about her last night. 87 00:11:04,893 --> 00:11:09,080 She's lying on the bed. I'm watching her. 88 00:11:09,706 --> 00:11:14,960 She reaches out to me. She strokes my cheek. 89 00:11:15,986 --> 00:11:20,640 That's good, Carl, it's really good. 90 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,106 She whispers to me... 91 00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:25,893 Do you remember what she whispers? 92 00:11:25,906 --> 00:11:28,800 "I am going to die, my son." 93 00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:35,760 "But promise that no matter what, you will go on living. Live, live!" 94 00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:38,361 Did she really say that? 95 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,693 Then I hear this noise. 96 00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:44,880 A flapping sound. Something lands at the window. 97 00:11:44,973 --> 00:11:48,400 - An angel? - A giant chicken. 98 00:11:50,481 --> 00:11:56,841 And suddenly it does this whacking great pile of chicken crap. 99 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,053 But the weird thing is, the crap begins to move. 100 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:05,293 And out of it comes a miniature version of you. 101 00:12:05,373 --> 00:12:10,386 You're standing there covered in crap - 102 00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:12,520 - waving at me. 103 00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:20,681 - And then you speak. - What do I say, Carl? 104 00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,281 "Hello, I'm Claus, the school psychologist - 105 00:12:25,441 --> 00:12:29,001 - and I am so stupid I'll believe anything". 106 00:12:30,281 --> 00:12:32,921 See you next Wednesday, right? 107 00:12:33,081 --> 00:12:35,841 Yes. See you. 108 00:12:38,161 --> 00:12:39,561 Goddammit! 109 00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:47,961 - I'm sorry, kids... - It's not as bad as it usually is. 110 00:12:48,121 --> 00:12:52,121 - Some of it's OK. - I am a cliché. 111 00:12:52,281 --> 00:12:56,161 - What's a cliché? - A useless lone dad. 112 00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:06,601 We'll manage. It'll just take some time. 113 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,761 - Daddy? - Yes, sweetie? 114 00:13:10,921 --> 00:13:12,601 Do you have a bird? 115 00:13:12,761 --> 00:13:14,441 What?! 116 00:13:14,601 --> 00:13:18,841 You're all scratchy. That's probably why not. 117 00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:23,881 Sofie. We are with the person we love. And I love your mummy. 118 00:13:24,641 --> 00:13:26,681 But... 119 00:13:26,841 --> 00:13:30,001 ... she's dead and I want a new one. 120 00:13:30,161 --> 00:13:33,201 One you can touch. 121 00:13:36,761 --> 00:13:40,201 Now sit down and eat your... 122 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,281 Men like ladies otherwise, don't they? 123 00:13:43,441 --> 00:13:46,801 - Well, Sofie, monks don't. - What are monks? 124 00:13:46,961 --> 00:13:49,761 Men who don't want to be with ladies. 125 00:13:49,921 --> 00:13:53,721 And nuns are ladies who don't want to be with men. 126 00:13:53,881 --> 00:13:57,361 - So daddy's a monk. - Yes. 127 00:14:00,321 --> 00:14:04,841 - What did Psycho-Claus say? - Are you going to be taken away? 128 00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:08,161 Better get that straitjacket on. 129 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:13,321 - Cut the crap. - I'm just taking an interest. 130 00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:17,761 - What are you at? - Giving you something to cry about. 131 00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:58,921 Hello... 132 00:15:01,721 --> 00:15:03,401 So this is 6B? 133 00:15:03,561 --> 00:15:07,601 welcome to our prickstitute. 134 00:15:07,761 --> 00:15:12,281 Would you like to explain what a "prickstitute" is? 135 00:15:12,441 --> 00:15:15,761 - You wrote it, didn't you? - Yes. 136 00:15:15,921 --> 00:15:19,081 So I am a "prickstitute"? What's that, Albert? 137 00:15:19,241 --> 00:15:22,321 Just a play on words? "Prick" instead of "sub"? 138 00:15:22,481 --> 00:15:27,761 Or is it easier to pronounce "prick" than "sub" with protruding teeth? 139 00:15:27,921 --> 00:15:31,521 Do you find drinking awfully difficult? 140 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,241 It was only a bit of fun. 141 00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:51,481 There's nothing like a good laugh, is there, Lotte? 142 00:15:51,641 --> 00:15:54,321 Do you mind coming up here to correct the spelling? 143 00:15:54,481 --> 00:15:58,081 And shut your mouth so you don't scratch the floor. 144 00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:12,721 6B. I must say it is odd being in the company - 145 00:16:12,881 --> 00:16:19,081 - of so many such astonishingly untalented children. 146 00:16:19,841 --> 00:16:23,161 I am not used to being with so many stupid people. 147 00:16:23,561 --> 00:16:25,801 What's she on about? 148 00:16:25,961 --> 00:16:30,681 About the fact that there is nothing going on in your heads at all. 149 00:16:30,841 --> 00:16:34,121 Only stupidity, stupidity, stupidity. 150 00:16:34,281 --> 00:16:36,841 - Hey, our class... - Put your hand up! Camilla? 151 00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:40,161 - What I wanted to say was... - Wait! 152 00:16:40,321 --> 00:16:45,641 - Yes, Camilla? - Our marks are better than average. 153 00:16:47,561 --> 00:16:50,481 You're smarter than an earthworm, right? 154 00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:55,481 But does that make you Albert Einstein? No. Or does it, Phillip? 155 00:16:56,881 --> 00:17:01,521 - I don't think you can... - Speak only when spoken to! 156 00:17:02,801 --> 00:17:05,561 - Lotte? - We've heard of those surveys... 157 00:17:05,721 --> 00:17:11,321 But my mum and dad know lots because they're teachers and... 158 00:17:11,481 --> 00:17:15,081 Stop Lotte! Your mouth is like a hamster, little Lotte. 159 00:17:15,241 --> 00:17:19,161 Running round and round in its treadmill getting nowhere. 160 00:17:19,321 --> 00:17:23,681 If you spoke less you'd say fewer silly things. Albert? 161 00:17:23,841 --> 00:17:28,281 - I think you are just totally nice. - Why, thank you! How sweet! 162 00:17:28,441 --> 00:17:33,041 No! I meant mean! I think you are just totally nice... mean! 163 00:17:33,201 --> 00:17:37,481 You are also totally nice, Albert. 6B, before we're through - 164 00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:45,201 - I promise you will be the cleverest pupils in the universe. 165 00:17:45,361 --> 00:17:47,241 Even you, Malthe. 166 00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:52,401 - We're only in year 6... - Hand up, Rikke! Yes, Rikke? 167 00:17:52,961 --> 00:17:56,921 - We're only in Year 6. - And? 168 00:17:57,081 --> 00:18:00,561 You make it sound as if we ought to know everything. 169 00:18:00,721 --> 00:18:05,121 Where I come from we do know everything. 170 00:18:05,281 --> 00:18:09,561 - Nobody knows everything. - I know everything. Try me. 171 00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:17,961 What's 634 times 967? 172 00:18:18,121 --> 00:18:21,361 - 613078. Simple. - What's my little brother called? 173 00:18:21,521 --> 00:18:22,321 Jonas. 174 00:18:22,481 --> 00:18:26,001 - Who scored the first goal in... - Ronaldo. 175 00:18:26,161 --> 00:18:29,681 But worshipping him won't help you unless you lose some weight. 176 00:18:29,841 --> 00:18:35,561 What's 2,622,946 divided by 5124? 177 00:18:35,721 --> 00:18:41,281 511.89422326. Just mental gymnastics. 178 00:18:41,441 --> 00:18:46,241 - Who's the head designer at BMW? - Chris Bangle. 179 00:18:46,401 --> 00:18:51,761 - Who is Tobias in love with? - He snogs you but loves Camilla. 180 00:18:51,921 --> 00:18:55,521 WRONG! No, he does not! 181 00:18:55,681 --> 00:19:01,601 But Camilla isn't in love with Tobias. Camilla is in love with... 182 00:19:01,761 --> 00:19:03,641 Albert?! 183 00:19:03,801 --> 00:19:05,201 What? 184 00:19:08,361 --> 00:19:09,681 Silence! 185 00:19:11,641 --> 00:19:15,201 What am I thinking right now? 186 00:19:15,361 --> 00:19:21,761 Carl! Humans can't read minds, but in your case it is easy. 187 00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:28,721 All you ever think about is your poor dead mummy in heaven. 188 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:37,041 So right now you are forcing yourself to think of something else entirely: 189 00:19:37,921 --> 00:19:40,281 Pancakes and ice cream. 190 00:19:41,521 --> 00:19:47,161 Thank you, 6B. I look forward to working with you. Run along! 191 00:19:48,681 --> 00:19:53,401 She can't do this! She's sick! She can't talk to us like that!? 192 00:19:53,561 --> 00:19:55,961 That bit about your teeth was pretty funny. 193 00:19:56,121 --> 00:19:59,161 I've heard of those studies about attainment levels. 194 00:19:59,321 --> 00:20:02,081 - We are pretty thick. - Yes, we are. 195 00:20:02,241 --> 00:20:09,321 - I'm not going to Paris with her. - Teachers can't talk like that. 196 00:20:09,481 --> 00:20:13,401 - I'm going to tell. - That stuff about Carl and his mum. 197 00:20:13,561 --> 00:20:18,361 - Are you just going to swallow it? - What were you thinking about? 198 00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:22,281 This is a list of every teacher in Denmark: no Ulla Harms. 199 00:20:22,441 --> 00:20:25,521 So I check the ministry of education. 200 00:20:27,921 --> 00:20:31,521 No Ulla Harms. Right: I try the national register, - 201 00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:35,801 - where everybody in the country is listed. 202 00:20:35,961 --> 00:20:38,001 No Ulla Harms. 203 00:20:38,161 --> 00:20:40,961 And what are you driving at? 204 00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:45,721 Ulla Harms does not exist. 205 00:20:50,241 --> 00:20:52,841 No, I'm not going anywhere. 206 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,921 What? 207 00:20:55,081 --> 00:20:57,201 Keeping my trap shut. 208 00:20:57,361 --> 00:21:01,241 If they want to be messed around by her, let them. 209 00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:06,841 Dad?? No, dad's still lost the plot - 210 00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:12,561 - but I've got a grip. Sofie's fine, right, Sofie? 211 00:21:12,721 --> 00:21:16,401 - Yes, I'm fine. Can she hear us? - Sure she can. 212 00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:22,641 Come to supper, mum! And my red top has got spots on. 213 00:21:22,801 --> 00:21:26,161 If you've got time you can come home and wash it! 214 00:21:26,321 --> 00:21:30,641 And you'd better tuck me up because Carl always farts in bed. 215 00:21:32,441 --> 00:21:34,321 I can't hear anything. 216 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:36,881 Carl! 217 00:21:38,641 --> 00:21:41,761 In here. Not up there. 218 00:21:46,001 --> 00:21:50,641 We just moved into number 14. It was all a bit of a rush. 219 00:21:50,801 --> 00:21:54,361 The last stuff got here last night. I'm Maria. 220 00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,081 Hi. Jesper. 221 00:21:57,241 --> 00:21:59,841 - And you are... - This is Sofie. 222 00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:02,481 Hi, Sofie. 223 00:22:02,641 --> 00:22:07,481 You have to be a bit careful about ... two on a bike... and no helmets. 224 00:22:07,641 --> 00:22:09,641 Of course. 225 00:22:09,801 --> 00:22:15,801 The police come down pretty hard out here, too. I've had several fines... 226 00:22:15,961 --> 00:22:21,121 Oh? So you're a... oh, you are one of... I mean you work for... 227 00:22:22,721 --> 00:22:29,001 And I saw you on telly, of course. Love makes man unique. 228 00:22:30,801 --> 00:22:32,961 You think so? 229 00:22:33,121 --> 00:22:36,841 - Wasn't that your point? - Oh, yes. 230 00:22:37,001 --> 00:22:39,801 It was a rather flashy way of putting it. 231 00:22:39,961 --> 00:22:43,041 Altruistic love, the ability to empathize - 232 00:22:43,201 --> 00:22:47,601 - is a special ability only possessed by man... 233 00:22:47,761 --> 00:22:50,201 My dad's a monk. 234 00:22:50,361 --> 00:22:53,921 - Is he? - Because he doesn't have a bird. 235 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,441 Really? 236 00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:59,881 - Are you a nun? - Definitely not, Sofie. 237 00:23:00,041 --> 00:23:02,721 So you can be my dad's new girlfriend. 238 00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:07,721 That's enough, Sofie. Come on, let's go upstairs. Let's go home. 239 00:24:05,401 --> 00:24:10,121 - Were you dreaming? - No, I just need a glass of water. 240 00:24:11,161 --> 00:24:15,961 - How's your new substitute teacher? - She's okay. 241 00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:20,641 - So it's a she. Is she nice? - She's just a substitute. 242 00:24:26,201 --> 00:24:29,161 Anyone interesting? 243 00:24:29,321 --> 00:24:32,201 - What do you mean? - Nothing. 244 00:24:34,001 --> 00:24:37,201 - Good night, dad. - Good night. 245 00:24:57,441 --> 00:25:02,041 Run, run, run. Faster, faster, faster. 246 00:25:05,401 --> 00:25:07,881 Get those knees up, Camilla! Come on! 247 00:25:08,041 --> 00:25:11,601 So it hurts. So you feel it. 248 00:25:16,441 --> 00:25:20,801 What are you doing standing there, Carl? Join the flock! 249 00:25:20,961 --> 00:25:23,361 Come on, come on! 250 00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:25,961 Faster, faster, faster! 251 00:25:26,121 --> 00:25:27,801 Run! 252 00:25:31,961 --> 00:25:33,401 And STOP! 253 00:25:48,401 --> 00:25:52,561 And there was Alexander, Achilles and Caesar. 254 00:25:52,721 --> 00:25:58,641 There was Mozart and Stravinsky. And there was Michelangelo. 255 00:25:58,801 --> 00:26:02,041 And then there were you lot. 256 00:26:02,201 --> 00:26:09,201 What a sorry bunch of weak, sweaty little dumplings! 257 00:26:09,361 --> 00:26:13,881 Do you really belong to the same race as Mozart? And Caesar? 258 00:26:14,041 --> 00:26:18,241 I don't think so. You look more like dollops of cold porridge. 259 00:26:19,241 --> 00:26:23,361 Today we are going to learn about the special ability - 260 00:26:25,201 --> 00:26:28,881 - that makes mankind quite unique. 261 00:26:31,161 --> 00:26:33,481 Up you go, Carl! 262 00:26:33,641 --> 00:26:36,201 - I can't. - Of course you can. 263 00:26:36,361 --> 00:26:39,081 - Carl's scared of heights. - Up the rope, Carl. 264 00:26:48,161 --> 00:26:51,081 - I'll fall. - You'd better get it together. 265 00:26:51,241 --> 00:26:56,881 Or your pals will have to go on running until they throw up. 266 00:26:57,041 --> 00:26:59,121 Up you go, Carl! 267 00:26:59,281 --> 00:27:04,721 If you could survive a car crash I expect you'll survive this as well. 268 00:27:04,881 --> 00:27:07,121 You can't do this! 269 00:27:07,281 --> 00:27:10,081 How dare you! Don't do it, Carl! 270 00:27:10,241 --> 00:27:12,401 Very good! 271 00:27:12,561 --> 00:27:14,001 Man is unique - 272 00:27:14,161 --> 00:27:18,601 - because he has an ability possessed by nothing else in the universe. 273 00:27:18,761 --> 00:27:22,641 A unique ability that despite your enormous lack of brainpower - 274 00:27:22,801 --> 00:27:27,881 - makes you one of the strongest individuals in the universe. 275 00:27:28,041 --> 00:27:33,081 Imagine you're on your way up to your dead mummy in heaven! 276 00:27:33,241 --> 00:27:37,761 Your dead mummy. She's up there waiting for you. 277 00:27:38,801 --> 00:27:41,081 Do you see her, Carl? 278 00:27:43,241 --> 00:27:45,441 Did you see her? 279 00:27:46,561 --> 00:27:48,761 Did you see her, Carl? 280 00:27:49,521 --> 00:27:54,241 You can't do this! You're meant to be our teacher, not a wicked witch! 281 00:27:54,601 --> 00:27:58,281 Bravo, Lotte! Now listen well. 282 00:27:58,441 --> 00:28:02,841 I'm teaching you something very, very important. 283 00:28:03,841 --> 00:28:05,641 Very, very important. 284 00:28:05,801 --> 00:28:10,161 What kind of ability is this? Come along, look at Carl. 285 00:28:10,321 --> 00:28:13,161 Look at the poor boy! 286 00:28:13,321 --> 00:28:16,761 What is the ability that you're showing right now? 287 00:28:16,921 --> 00:28:21,161 Carl was under pressure and you gave him your support at once. 288 00:28:21,321 --> 00:28:25,241 What kind of unique ability is this? 289 00:28:25,401 --> 00:28:28,681 Come on, pull your socks up! 290 00:28:32,401 --> 00:28:38,441 You wanted to show us that we are unique because we can empathize. 291 00:28:40,081 --> 00:28:44,241 Bravo Philip! Bravo! 292 00:28:46,801 --> 00:28:50,321 Precisely: empathy! 293 00:28:50,481 --> 00:28:53,161 If one of your group is put to the knife - 294 00:28:53,321 --> 00:28:57,201 - the rest of you immediately empathize. Fantastic, Philip. 295 00:28:57,361 --> 00:29:01,321 Super duper. OK. A . Good. Fine. 296 00:29:01,481 --> 00:29:05,681 No other race possesses this ability. 297 00:29:05,841 --> 00:29:09,881 - You certainly don't. - Children... 298 00:29:10,041 --> 00:29:16,361 - I think you're simply fantastic. - And you're the nicest. 299 00:29:18,041 --> 00:29:22,161 - I mean the nastiest. - Tobias! You're nice, too. 300 00:29:22,321 --> 00:29:25,801 - You're the nicest. - No, you're the nicest. 301 00:29:45,921 --> 00:29:52,601 Well, I'd like to welcome you all to this extraordinary... 302 00:29:53,521 --> 00:29:59,001 Ulla has been at the ministry today and she'll be a few minutes late, - 303 00:29:59,161 --> 00:30:03,921 - but I see no reason not to kick off. 304 00:30:04,081 --> 00:30:08,201 We're not too happy about this whole situation - 305 00:30:08,361 --> 00:30:13,361 - so we've also invited Claus, who will say a few words... 306 00:30:14,281 --> 00:30:16,441 Carl! Carl! 307 00:30:18,081 --> 00:30:22,441 - Is it in there? - Why didn't you mention this? 308 00:30:22,601 --> 00:30:26,961 - It wasn't important. - Come on, let's go inside. 309 00:30:33,121 --> 00:30:35,441 Kids are junkies. 310 00:30:36,841 --> 00:30:41,001 They are addicted to their imaginations. 311 00:30:41,481 --> 00:30:44,121 They spend hours a day - 312 00:30:44,281 --> 00:30:50,481 - staring at fascinating, fantastic, fairytale universes on video. 313 00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:57,441 But when the screen's turned off they're turfed out into this: 314 00:30:59,721 --> 00:31:02,001 Real life! 315 00:31:03,801 --> 00:31:07,881 A grey, boring Monday! Dull as ditch water. 316 00:31:09,401 --> 00:31:11,841 What do they do about it? 317 00:31:14,521 --> 00:31:22,041 In their boundless, insatiable, almost neurotic need for thrills, - 318 00:31:22,201 --> 00:31:26,881 - what do they do? They simply morph reality! 319 00:31:36,441 --> 00:31:39,721 They morph reality to suit themselves. 320 00:31:39,881 --> 00:31:44,201 No matter how pathological their imaginations are. 321 00:32:09,681 --> 00:32:13,761 Of course I am not saying that your children are insane. 322 00:32:13,921 --> 00:32:16,881 But we have to be very cautious - 323 00:32:18,681 --> 00:32:21,121 - about believing everything they say - 324 00:32:21,281 --> 00:32:24,201 - or their inventions. 325 00:32:24,361 --> 00:32:28,041 Because children can invent practically anything. 326 00:32:39,241 --> 00:32:41,761 Thank you all for listening. Thank you. 327 00:32:44,001 --> 00:32:47,321 Thank you, Claus. 328 00:32:47,481 --> 00:32:52,921 That was really an important thing to mention... 329 00:32:53,081 --> 00:32:55,201 - Any questions? - Yes! 330 00:33:01,761 --> 00:33:06,401 It's a shock when she comes home with nothing good to say about her. 331 00:33:19,161 --> 00:33:22,281 The minister of education! 332 00:33:30,921 --> 00:33:33,641 I just had to say hello to you parents. 333 00:33:33,801 --> 00:33:36,801 Ulla praises your children so highly. 334 00:33:36,961 --> 00:33:40,081 And when she gives praise, I know there are good reasons. 335 00:33:40,241 --> 00:33:42,961 Ulla is the best, simply the best. 336 00:33:43,121 --> 00:33:46,561 And your splendid children are going to show Europe - 337 00:33:46,721 --> 00:33:48,681 - that our pupils are the best. 338 00:33:53,481 --> 00:33:56,321 The best in the world. 339 00:34:02,681 --> 00:34:05,001 And I am sure you will discover - 340 00:34:05,161 --> 00:34:09,001 - that your children are in the very safest of hands. 341 00:34:30,481 --> 00:34:32,721 Friends, - 342 00:34:33,841 --> 00:34:37,321 - we are all a bit afraid of new things. 343 00:34:41,361 --> 00:34:44,761 In this case I am the new one. 344 00:34:47,281 --> 00:34:49,521 Another new thing here is - 345 00:34:49,681 --> 00:34:52,201 - that your children have enormous potential - 346 00:34:52,361 --> 00:34:56,601 - which I feel has never been exploited to the fullest. 347 00:34:59,801 --> 00:35:01,281 But... 348 00:35:03,241 --> 00:35:07,121 I get upset when neither you nor your children trust me. 349 00:35:10,401 --> 00:35:12,401 Believe me: 350 00:35:12,561 --> 00:35:17,441 I am not a monster, - 351 00:35:20,521 --> 00:35:22,721 - merely honest. 352 00:35:23,921 --> 00:35:29,401 Honesty can hurt sometimes, especially youngsters. 353 00:35:29,561 --> 00:35:32,801 But believe me: I love them. 354 00:35:35,481 --> 00:35:40,641 I adore their wisdom, their imagination - 355 00:35:40,801 --> 00:35:43,961 - and their defiance! 356 00:35:45,721 --> 00:35:48,681 Their emotions for better or for worse - 357 00:35:51,201 --> 00:35:55,241 - because after all, that's what it is all about. Emotions. 358 00:35:55,401 --> 00:35:59,121 Emotions are surely what make man so unique. 359 00:36:01,321 --> 00:36:04,121 That is why I am here... 360 00:36:04,281 --> 00:36:07,521 I'm sorry. I just get so upset. I'm sorry. 361 00:36:42,281 --> 00:36:44,481 Where were you, Carl? 362 00:36:44,641 --> 00:36:46,481 Ulla? 363 00:36:46,641 --> 00:36:48,201 She's here. 364 00:36:51,001 --> 00:36:55,481 Ulla, I think there are some people who'd really like to say a few words. 365 00:36:55,641 --> 00:37:00,041 Ulla, things merely got off on slightly the wrong foot. 366 00:37:00,201 --> 00:37:03,361 Many of us owe you an apology. 367 00:37:03,521 --> 00:37:07,921 In particular, our children owe you an apology. 368 00:37:12,681 --> 00:37:14,681 Sorry... 369 00:37:19,401 --> 00:37:22,121 Albert, Albert, Albert... 370 00:37:23,481 --> 00:37:25,481 Sorry. 371 00:37:26,961 --> 00:37:30,921 Phillip! Say sorry! 372 00:37:47,721 --> 00:37:53,681 - Carl, what are you doing here? - I need to talk to you, Phillip. 373 00:37:59,441 --> 00:38:03,761 And the Minister of Education came out of a ball? 374 00:38:05,441 --> 00:38:08,161 Are you on medication? 375 00:38:09,201 --> 00:38:12,121 I asked her if she could read my mind. 376 00:38:12,281 --> 00:38:15,401 Humans can't read minds, she said. 377 00:38:17,161 --> 00:38:20,321 She guessed right: pancakes and ice cream. 378 00:38:21,441 --> 00:38:24,881 Is that what you were thinking? 379 00:38:27,001 --> 00:38:30,401 No humans... 380 00:38:33,481 --> 00:38:36,881 We must tell the others. 381 00:38:37,041 --> 00:38:42,241 No, then they'll really think I've gone mad. 382 00:38:42,401 --> 00:38:46,401 - Then why did you tell me? - You're a bit mad yourself. 383 00:38:53,321 --> 00:38:55,321 You're right. 384 00:39:01,801 --> 00:39:05,841 - And you found this in her bag? - Strange signs. 385 00:39:06,001 --> 00:39:10,481 Let's show them to my dad. He knows everything about languages. 386 00:39:12,281 --> 00:39:16,401 You found this stuff in a box of cornflakes. It's nonsense. 387 00:39:16,561 --> 00:39:19,481 What about this map? 388 00:39:19,641 --> 00:39:22,641 It says something weird. 389 00:39:22,801 --> 00:39:29,041 It's just backwards. Look: Jens Peter Hansen's Poultry Farm. 390 00:39:30,561 --> 00:39:34,321 We don't know where it was taken. But it's weird - 391 00:39:34,481 --> 00:39:38,201 - the way they're all just standing there. 392 00:39:43,721 --> 00:39:46,241 It really is strange. 393 00:39:48,921 --> 00:39:51,201 Really, really strange. 394 00:39:54,481 --> 00:40:00,201 How did you make this? You're in it, both of you. Look! 395 00:40:07,041 --> 00:40:08,561 What are you up to? 396 00:40:08,721 --> 00:40:11,361 - I'll see you tomorrow. - Yeah. 397 00:40:20,241 --> 00:40:24,001 There are more of us in the picture now. 398 00:40:31,281 --> 00:40:36,641 This is a picture of us that doesn't exist. We were never there. 399 00:40:36,801 --> 00:40:40,121 You are even madder than Carl. 400 00:40:42,321 --> 00:40:45,921 That's me there, that is. 401 00:40:46,081 --> 00:40:50,321 Me, Carl, Camilla, Tobias, Laura, Lotte and now you. 402 00:40:51,641 --> 00:40:54,521 More and more of us keep appearing. 403 00:40:54,681 --> 00:40:58,681 Get a grip! Anyone can do that in PhotoShop. 404 00:40:58,841 --> 00:41:02,841 Don't you see it? He's trying to drive us all nuts. 405 00:41:10,921 --> 00:41:12,401 Hi, Carl. 406 00:41:12,561 --> 00:41:15,921 I think we need to talk. 407 00:41:17,961 --> 00:41:22,121 Are you sure you got this from her bag? 408 00:41:22,281 --> 00:41:25,361 - Why? - A photo of us? 409 00:41:25,521 --> 00:41:28,401 - Where we've never been? - Did you do it? 410 00:41:28,561 --> 00:41:31,961 - What are you up to, Carl? - You're sick. 411 00:41:32,121 --> 00:41:36,561 I don't give a toss what you think. 412 00:41:36,721 --> 00:41:41,081 I don't give a toss about what any of you think. 413 00:41:42,481 --> 00:41:47,161 - Yeah, you're really good at that. - At what? 414 00:41:47,321 --> 00:41:51,201 Not giving a toss about anything. 415 00:41:52,601 --> 00:41:55,801 Something is well wrong. Yet you don't give a toss. 416 00:41:55,961 --> 00:41:58,521 - Well, I'm sick, right? - Yes. 417 00:42:00,201 --> 00:42:03,241 You're as dead as your mum. 418 00:42:05,321 --> 00:42:07,561 My mum's not dead. 419 00:42:17,561 --> 00:42:21,281 - Are your teeth okay? - Did it hurt? 420 00:42:21,441 --> 00:42:22,761 - Yes. - Good. 421 00:42:22,921 --> 00:42:28,321 - Pack it in! You never let up. - And you never shut up... 422 00:42:28,481 --> 00:42:30,441 - What was that for? - To shut you up. 423 00:42:30,601 --> 00:42:33,601 We should save our energy for her. 424 00:42:33,761 --> 00:42:37,401 Carl, tell the others what you told me. 425 00:42:43,121 --> 00:42:47,001 Carl, straight up: are you on medication? 426 00:42:47,521 --> 00:42:49,561 I believe you. 427 00:42:49,721 --> 00:42:52,521 - Me, too. - I'm sorry, Carl. 428 00:42:52,681 --> 00:42:54,081 Sorry. 429 00:42:54,641 --> 00:42:56,321 That's OK. 430 00:42:57,201 --> 00:43:00,761 - Let's check out her house. - Phillip found the address. 431 00:43:05,201 --> 00:43:08,801 - What number did you say it was? - No. 1. 432 00:43:08,961 --> 00:43:11,801 Shall we see if she's home? 433 00:43:15,041 --> 00:43:18,321 - It's pitch black in there. - Do you think she's home? 434 00:43:22,241 --> 00:43:25,681 - What are you doing? - What's wrong? It's locked. 435 00:43:25,841 --> 00:43:28,681 And what if it hadn't been? 436 00:43:48,361 --> 00:43:50,361 You're not serious? 437 00:43:50,521 --> 00:43:54,681 - This is too bloody dangerous. - Albert is right for once. 438 00:43:54,841 --> 00:43:57,681 Come on. Let's go. 439 00:43:57,841 --> 00:44:00,721 - We can't stand around here. - We're staying. 440 00:44:02,041 --> 00:44:05,521 - Shouldn't someone stand guard? - Got your cell phone on you? 441 00:44:05,681 --> 00:44:09,641 Phone Camilla's number if Ulla Harms turns up. 442 00:45:47,361 --> 00:45:50,001 How weird! 443 00:45:51,961 --> 00:45:54,441 Nobody can live here. 444 00:45:56,401 --> 00:45:58,641 Hey! Get a look at this! 445 00:46:16,881 --> 00:46:19,801 That's us in the picture. 446 00:46:21,001 --> 00:46:22,761 And your dad. 447 00:46:22,921 --> 00:46:27,841 I don't like it. It's too dangerous. Albert was right. 448 00:46:40,281 --> 00:46:42,641 Did you hear that? 449 00:47:22,921 --> 00:47:24,721 She's coming! 450 00:47:28,401 --> 00:47:30,281 The light! 451 00:48:11,361 --> 00:48:16,121 Hi, Albert. Do you have Camilla's number? Just give it to me! 452 00:48:55,961 --> 00:48:57,241 Thanks. 453 00:49:41,641 --> 00:49:42,921 Get in! 454 00:49:45,241 --> 00:49:46,841 Hurry! 455 00:50:07,601 --> 00:50:13,601 - What in the hell are you doing? - Saving your inquisitive arses! 456 00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:15,681 She's a... 457 00:50:15,841 --> 00:50:18,201 She's a... 458 00:50:19,201 --> 00:50:21,201 She's a... 459 00:50:21,961 --> 00:50:23,241 Monster. 460 00:50:45,001 --> 00:50:50,601 Ulla Harms is not a human being. 461 00:50:58,081 --> 00:51:02,721 And, er, the minister of education kind of... came out of a ball? 462 00:51:02,881 --> 00:51:06,361 You know I know it sounds insane. But I saw it. 463 00:51:06,521 --> 00:51:09,921 As psycho-Claus said: They change reality. 464 00:51:10,081 --> 00:51:14,201 I could tell you were having a hard time with Ulla; but... 465 00:51:14,361 --> 00:51:17,521 No more electronic games! 466 00:51:17,681 --> 00:51:20,961 - Let's call Psycho-Claus. - May I make a suggestion? 467 00:51:21,121 --> 00:51:24,361 It's only 10.15. We could ring Ulla. 468 00:51:24,521 --> 00:51:28,921 - Take the bull by the horns. - And we do have a police presence. 469 00:51:29,081 --> 00:51:32,801 - I see no point in putting it off. - I'll call her right away. 470 00:51:32,961 --> 00:51:36,241 And you'll be able to see for yourselves! 471 00:51:56,361 --> 00:51:59,961 What a lot of people! 472 00:52:00,801 --> 00:52:04,521 What a to-do! But how lovely to see you all! 473 00:52:04,681 --> 00:52:06,801 So this is where I live. 474 00:52:08,241 --> 00:52:10,601 - What's happened? - Typical. 475 00:52:12,521 --> 00:52:16,361 - I told you so. - It didn't look like this before. 476 00:52:20,561 --> 00:52:23,841 I knew it. I knew it, Laura. 477 00:52:24,001 --> 00:52:28,841 I've just popped a cake into the oven. I'll just go and check on it. 478 00:52:35,001 --> 00:52:38,241 - It didn't look like this before. - Phillip. 479 00:52:38,401 --> 00:52:43,601 - It's just like a movie. - This isn't a movie. It's for real. 480 00:53:32,361 --> 00:53:38,281 I'm sorry, I love pulling people's legs. The kids hate me for it. 481 00:53:38,441 --> 00:53:42,721 I think we need a nice cold beer or a cognac? 482 00:53:42,881 --> 00:53:46,961 A cup of really strong coffee after such a hectic evening? 483 00:53:47,121 --> 00:53:49,801 - What can I get you? - A boiled egg? 484 00:53:49,961 --> 00:53:52,881 - What did you say? - How about a boiled egg? 485 00:53:53,801 --> 00:54:00,361 Carl with his vivid imagination! So much is happening to you. 486 00:54:00,521 --> 00:54:06,161 - What's happening to me? - This may not be the place... 487 00:54:11,921 --> 00:54:16,041 Carl, you are emerging from your shell. 488 00:54:20,561 --> 00:54:23,801 And that's great to see. 489 00:54:24,521 --> 00:54:26,481 I'm sorry. 490 00:54:28,721 --> 00:54:30,961 I'm sorry. 491 00:54:31,881 --> 00:54:34,081 What do you feel like? 492 00:54:34,241 --> 00:54:38,001 - Maybe we should tell them? - Now? Yes, why not? 493 00:54:38,161 --> 00:54:41,441 As I told Jesper on the phone, I have decided. 494 00:54:41,601 --> 00:54:44,081 We will be going to Paris. 495 00:54:51,361 --> 00:54:56,841 - I'm not going to Paris! - Hold your tongue, young man. 496 00:54:58,081 --> 00:54:59,921 Ulla? 497 00:55:00,081 --> 00:55:04,601 I don't know what you're planning, but I know you are a nice hamster... 498 00:55:04,761 --> 00:55:08,521 I mean nasty monster ... nice hamster... 499 00:55:08,681 --> 00:55:12,241 And you are a nice little hamster too, Albert. 500 00:55:12,401 --> 00:55:16,201 Shouldn't Albert have braces on those teeth? 501 00:55:19,801 --> 00:55:24,001 - I'm not going! - There's no more to be said. 502 00:55:24,161 --> 00:55:27,281 - In that case I'll leave home. - Oh, come on! 503 00:55:27,441 --> 00:55:32,041 It'll do you good. It'll be a challenge. 504 00:55:32,201 --> 00:55:34,401 - A challenge?! - Precisely. 505 00:55:34,561 --> 00:55:39,121 You spend far too much time in your own little sick world... 506 00:55:39,281 --> 00:55:41,401 ... in the past... 507 00:55:46,001 --> 00:55:48,961 Carl... Carl... 508 00:55:55,281 --> 00:55:58,201 It wasn't fair, mum dying. 509 00:56:00,161 --> 00:56:04,441 Mum isn't dead; mum's just somewhere else. 510 00:56:05,161 --> 00:56:08,081 And she won't be coming back. 511 00:56:09,441 --> 00:56:12,041 Carl... 512 00:56:15,121 --> 00:56:17,081 Carl, we both need to move on. 513 00:56:17,241 --> 00:56:21,321 I'm sure that mum is sitting up there somewhere - 514 00:56:21,481 --> 00:56:24,721 - looking down on us - 515 00:56:24,881 --> 00:56:30,561 - thinking "Those two should be having some fun". 516 00:56:31,641 --> 00:56:33,761 "The people I love". 517 00:56:35,201 --> 00:56:39,881 I think we deserve to laugh again - 518 00:56:41,401 --> 00:56:45,041 - and run around being silly. 519 00:56:54,921 --> 00:56:58,121 - You know what I did? - No. 520 00:56:59,521 --> 00:57:04,521 I bought you a white shirt. A chalk-white shirt. 521 00:57:06,361 --> 00:57:08,681 You're crazy. 522 00:57:14,521 --> 00:57:18,041 I look as if I'm off to my own confirmation. 523 00:57:19,201 --> 00:57:22,761 What's going on? And where's Sofie at? 524 00:57:22,921 --> 00:57:26,201 - We're having somebody for dinner. - Anyone I know? 525 00:57:29,841 --> 00:57:32,041 Yes, you know her. 526 00:57:33,241 --> 00:57:35,841 Ahah? Then I can guess. 527 00:57:45,161 --> 00:57:47,321 Did you bring Rikke? 528 00:57:48,681 --> 00:57:50,601 Hi, Carl. 529 00:57:51,361 --> 00:57:56,041 - Cheers, and thanks for the invite! - Thanks for coming. Cheers! 530 00:57:58,081 --> 00:57:59,601 Carl! 531 00:58:01,801 --> 00:58:07,281 A bit much, isn't it? Your dad asking "Miss for dinner"? 532 00:58:08,521 --> 00:58:15,561 - Maybe it wasn't such a good idea? - It was a great idea. Right, Carl? 533 00:58:22,561 --> 00:58:25,201 - Just what does your plan involve? - What? 534 00:58:25,361 --> 00:58:28,921 What's the name of your planet? 535 00:58:36,001 --> 00:58:37,601 Carl... 536 00:58:41,041 --> 00:58:43,041 I'm sorry... 537 00:58:44,681 --> 00:58:48,321 It's mine. It rings all the time. 538 00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:00,720 Carl, Carl, Carl. 539 00:59:00,786 --> 00:59:02,640 Ulla, Ulla, Ulla. 540 00:59:06,361 --> 00:59:10,561 - My little Carl. - My little Ulla. 541 00:59:12,521 --> 00:59:16,801 - What do you want with my dad? - We like each other, that's all. 542 00:59:18,321 --> 00:59:20,521 Ulla... 543 00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:25,840 I know you are an alien. 544 00:59:25,973 --> 00:59:28,040 Oh. 545 00:59:33,161 --> 00:59:35,921 You mean one of these? 546 00:59:50,521 --> 00:59:55,401 - Anything important? - A journalist about my book. 547 00:59:55,561 --> 00:59:58,521 Let's eat before it gets cold. 548 00:59:58,681 --> 01:00:03,001 Carl, why don't you pass the dish? Carl, wake up. 549 01:00:04,561 --> 01:00:07,401 You look like you've seen a monster. 550 01:00:12,281 --> 01:00:16,481 ... and all of a sudden she'd gone. From one day to the next. 551 01:00:17,361 --> 01:00:20,601 I thought I'd never be human again. 552 01:00:25,041 --> 01:00:28,281 Ulla, have you ever been in love? 553 01:00:28,441 --> 01:00:32,281 Jesper, I don't know what it means. 554 01:00:34,681 --> 01:00:37,481 I am sure you do really. 555 01:00:37,641 --> 01:00:41,881 Where I come from there is no such thing as love. 556 01:00:42,721 --> 01:00:47,401 I am sorry to hear it. But what about your mum and dad? 557 01:00:47,561 --> 01:00:50,561 My mum ate my dad. 558 01:00:52,281 --> 01:00:56,801 He was "eaten up by" her, quite simply? It's pretty common. 559 01:00:56,961 --> 01:01:02,681 Many marriages end in hell. Did she smother him? 560 01:01:02,841 --> 01:01:05,841 - What? - Wrapped her arms round him. 561 01:01:06,001 --> 01:01:09,561 - Sucked the life out of him. - Yes. 562 01:01:09,721 --> 01:01:12,881 Where I come from that's actually what we do. 563 01:01:13,041 --> 01:01:16,921 You find a mate, have his babies and then eat him. 564 01:01:17,601 --> 01:01:22,361 Goodness! Your family quite simply bears original sin? 565 01:01:22,521 --> 01:01:27,281 So I need to learn about love. To stop us destroying ourselves. 566 01:01:28,561 --> 01:01:31,961 That is exactly why I wrote my book. 567 01:01:33,801 --> 01:01:36,761 Tell me what you do. 568 01:01:38,561 --> 01:01:39,921 Do? 569 01:01:42,481 --> 01:01:47,521 You get a feel for each other. You show compassion. 570 01:01:48,481 --> 01:01:53,001 - You feel your heart go crazy. - And then you become invincible? 571 01:01:53,161 --> 01:01:54,641 Invincible? 572 01:01:54,801 --> 01:01:59,441 Oh, that's a bit of an oversimplification, perhaps. 573 01:01:59,601 --> 01:02:03,201 But yes, I do believe love conquers all. 574 01:02:12,641 --> 01:02:14,681 - Hi. - Hi, Maria. 575 01:02:14,841 --> 01:02:17,481 I'm sorry. She wouldn't sleep. 576 01:02:18,281 --> 01:02:21,041 She insisted on coming home. 577 01:02:21,201 --> 01:02:22,681 - Never mind. - Daddy. 578 01:02:22,841 --> 01:02:26,081 - Hi, Maria. How's Rikke? - Fine. 579 01:02:26,241 --> 01:02:30,361 - Come in for a glass of wine. - I ought to be getting back... 580 01:02:34,121 --> 01:02:36,641 - Here you are! - Thanks. 581 01:02:38,081 --> 01:02:40,361 I'll see you tomorrow. 582 01:02:40,521 --> 01:02:44,641 We'll have to see if we can get all the kids to go. 583 01:02:44,801 --> 01:02:48,721 - It's a long drive. - We'll be stopping. 584 01:02:48,881 --> 01:02:52,561 - In Southern Jutland. - Southern Jutland, yes. 585 01:02:52,721 --> 01:02:55,601 There's a lovely holiday camp. 586 01:03:13,881 --> 01:03:17,121 We know this is super hard for some of you. 587 01:03:17,281 --> 01:03:21,161 To be quite frank Ulla is dreadfully upset. 588 01:03:21,321 --> 01:03:24,961 This will be the last you ever see of your son. 589 01:03:25,121 --> 01:03:28,001 He's going to vanish forever. 590 01:03:28,161 --> 01:03:32,161 And for the rest of your lives the thought will torment you. 591 01:03:32,321 --> 01:03:37,481 "We sent our little boy away to a place from whence he never returned!" 592 01:03:37,641 --> 01:03:40,481 You are the weakest link. Goodbye. 593 01:03:40,641 --> 01:03:46,441 But Ulla has found a sensible answer and here it comes: Jesper. 594 01:03:48,801 --> 01:03:53,841 Children! I am Carl's dad and I'm coming along! 595 01:03:54,001 --> 01:03:58,481 I will provide a reliable link between you and your parents. 596 01:03:58,641 --> 01:04:05,041 I'm sure we'll have a splendid trip. Let's just get on the coach. 597 01:04:12,481 --> 01:04:16,081 - You might have told me. - The driver phoned Ulla. 598 01:04:16,241 --> 01:04:21,481 Salmonella. And as I've got my commercial vehicle license... 599 01:04:21,641 --> 01:04:25,201 Dad, you're so full of surprises. 600 01:05:23,841 --> 01:05:28,041 Holiday, holiday, holiday Now we are really free 601 01:05:28,201 --> 01:05:30,001 Sing a happy melody 602 01:05:30,161 --> 01:05:33,161 Smiles and laughter in the sun 603 01:05:33,321 --> 01:05:35,961 It will shine till our holiday's done 604 01:05:40,241 --> 01:05:44,761 Holiday, holiday, holiday... 605 01:06:00,961 --> 01:06:03,321 This is the place. 606 01:06:06,401 --> 01:06:09,761 And now your dad's in it too. 607 01:06:37,321 --> 01:06:39,761 Yuck, what a spooky place, eh? 608 01:06:39,921 --> 01:06:43,001 Bunk beds! A real spine chiller, eh, Tobias? 609 01:06:43,161 --> 01:06:44,801 Wrap it, Malthe! 610 01:06:44,961 --> 01:06:49,161 You wrap it. You're all suffering from paranoia! 611 01:06:49,321 --> 01:06:55,761 - You are so pig ignorant. - Are you afraid she'll eat us? 612 01:06:55,921 --> 01:06:58,881 It's only for one night. we're moving on tomorrow. 613 01:06:59,041 --> 01:07:02,321 - To Paris. - Or Gondor. 614 01:07:06,361 --> 01:07:09,081 We'll never make it to Paris. 615 01:07:11,041 --> 01:07:13,721 Isn't travel just great? 616 01:07:17,001 --> 01:07:20,681 Ulla, I'm so glad you found a need for me. 617 01:07:23,001 --> 01:07:24,881 Maybe. 618 01:07:28,881 --> 01:07:32,041 But I certainly need Jesper. 619 01:07:34,681 --> 01:07:38,121 I definitely need you, too, Ulla. 620 01:07:41,121 --> 01:07:44,601 I think we should visit the poultry farm tomorrow. 621 01:07:44,761 --> 01:07:48,841 Visit the farm. They'd like to show us around. 622 01:07:56,281 --> 01:07:58,481 That's a good idea. 623 01:08:03,841 --> 01:08:06,921 I have some preparation to do. 624 01:08:11,801 --> 01:08:13,801 Sexy. 625 01:08:13,961 --> 01:08:18,681 Ulla Harms intends to take us to her planet. 626 01:08:18,841 --> 01:08:22,881 - We are her guinea pigs. - I don't get it. 627 01:08:23,041 --> 01:08:27,761 My dad wrote a book about the most powerful force in the universe. 628 01:08:27,921 --> 01:08:30,801 - The atom bomb? - Love. 629 01:08:32,401 --> 01:08:36,841 Carl the Hippie! What's got into you? Fallen in love? 630 01:08:40,121 --> 01:08:43,001 Hey, come and look at this! 631 01:08:52,441 --> 01:08:55,161 What's she doing? 632 01:08:55,961 --> 01:08:57,681 What's she doing? 633 01:08:58,521 --> 01:09:02,041 - She's preparing. - For what? 634 01:09:03,161 --> 01:09:05,241 To take us away. 635 01:10:03,801 --> 01:10:06,721 Ulla? What are you doing? 636 01:10:10,281 --> 01:10:14,721 I was just wondering if you felt like sharing your bed? 637 01:10:23,401 --> 01:10:27,001 Ulla, I really think you need a man. 638 01:10:46,961 --> 01:10:51,401 "Ulla, I really think you need a man". 639 01:10:55,201 --> 01:10:59,001 - Are you sure you can drive it? - Easy as pie. 640 01:10:59,161 --> 01:11:02,961 - What about the noise? - We'll push it down the hill. 641 01:11:12,401 --> 01:11:17,721 Come on! Get on quick! Get on! Come on! 642 01:11:20,121 --> 01:11:23,521 Where's Carl? Hello! Where's Carl? Carl! 643 01:11:25,041 --> 01:11:26,881 Go for it! 644 01:11:41,521 --> 01:11:45,841 - I think you're great. - So do I. I mean: you are. 645 01:11:46,001 --> 01:11:49,561 Come on, Albert! Step on it! Go, Albert! 646 01:11:53,441 --> 01:11:56,281 What about my dad? 647 01:11:56,441 --> 01:11:58,881 He'll be all right. 648 01:12:45,601 --> 01:12:47,921 My dears... 649 01:12:53,921 --> 01:12:56,681 ... this coach will never get us - 650 01:12:58,961 --> 01:13:01,121 - where we're going. 651 01:13:02,121 --> 01:13:05,281 Say goodbye to your last day on Earth. 652 01:13:10,401 --> 01:13:14,441 - Cut it out, you moron! - Why a poultry farm? 653 01:13:14,601 --> 01:13:17,761 It is important to know where what you eat comes from. 654 01:13:17,921 --> 01:13:21,441 City kids like us have no idea where it comes from. 655 01:13:21,601 --> 01:13:24,521 Now we'll know where chicken comes from. 656 01:13:24,681 --> 01:13:28,201 - Anyone seen my computer? - Have you noticed the kids? 657 01:13:28,361 --> 01:13:31,961 - This trip is already helping. - Give me a break! 658 01:13:32,121 --> 01:13:34,681 They're their old selves again. 659 01:13:36,601 --> 01:13:42,441 A pity Claus's wife came down with that salmonella poisoning. 660 01:13:49,521 --> 01:13:52,601 Make a turn here. 661 01:14:41,041 --> 01:14:45,921 - Is it a battery hen farm? - Yes. 662 01:14:46,081 --> 01:14:52,361 Where they have thousands of chickens crammed into tiny cages? 663 01:14:52,521 --> 01:14:55,641 They might as well get used to it right away. 664 01:14:57,081 --> 01:14:59,601 We're here. Let's go! 665 01:15:06,361 --> 01:15:07,521 Ulla? 666 01:15:08,361 --> 01:15:09,961 Ulla! 667 01:15:12,641 --> 01:15:16,241 - What's the idea? - Just go inside. 668 01:15:18,521 --> 01:15:20,881 Just go inside. Wait inside. 669 01:15:21,041 --> 01:15:22,441 Go on! 670 01:15:24,601 --> 01:15:25,801 Go on! 671 01:15:25,961 --> 01:15:30,161 Well, let's do it then, kids. It might well be educational. 672 01:15:30,321 --> 01:15:32,401 Probably. 673 01:15:32,561 --> 01:15:34,561 Maybe. 674 01:15:37,281 --> 01:15:39,481 What are you waiting for? 675 01:15:51,121 --> 01:15:55,641 Come out into the farmyard, Carl. We'll be leaving in a moment... 676 01:16:26,321 --> 01:16:28,681 What are you doing? 677 01:16:28,841 --> 01:16:31,601 Where are the others? 678 01:16:33,601 --> 01:16:34,681 Look at me! 679 01:16:36,641 --> 01:16:39,001 Leave here or I'll shoot! 680 01:16:48,641 --> 01:16:50,681 Mum? 681 01:16:50,841 --> 01:16:53,241 Carl, my sweet boy. 682 01:16:56,001 --> 01:16:59,961 My beloved little angel... please put that gun down. 683 01:17:00,121 --> 01:17:02,601 Stop it! How dare you! 684 01:17:03,641 --> 01:17:07,561 - You're not my mum! - Why are you saying that? 685 01:17:07,721 --> 01:17:11,121 Because my mum is dead. 686 01:17:13,641 --> 01:17:15,321 Stop right there! 687 01:17:25,201 --> 01:17:28,841 Where are they?! Where are they?! 688 01:17:29,481 --> 01:17:30,721 Carl! 689 01:17:30,881 --> 01:17:35,241 - What the hell are you all doing? - Get us out of here! 690 01:17:35,401 --> 01:17:42,121 - Wait! Wait! The ball... - Yes, there was a ball. 691 01:17:42,281 --> 01:17:45,881 If you destroy it, you'll destroy her, too! 692 01:17:46,041 --> 01:17:47,841 Carl! 693 01:17:53,481 --> 01:17:56,841 - Carl? - Stop right there! 694 01:18:10,001 --> 01:18:12,561 I can't destroy it. 695 01:18:13,641 --> 01:18:17,201 The grinder! It'll destroy anything. 696 01:18:17,361 --> 01:18:20,841 Get to the grinder crush the ball! 697 01:18:21,001 --> 01:18:24,161 - Where is it? - The barn behind the silo. 698 01:18:41,081 --> 01:18:45,081 Where's my sphere? Where's my sphere? 699 01:18:51,601 --> 01:18:52,921 Carl! 700 01:19:57,041 --> 01:19:59,841 Stop! Not a single step closer! 701 01:20:05,001 --> 01:20:07,441 I'm sorry. 702 01:20:07,601 --> 01:20:14,601 Carl. It's just that... There I am with no love, - 703 01:20:14,760 --> 01:20:19,293 - looking down on you people who have so much love. 704 01:20:19,360 --> 01:20:23,680 I just want someone to love me. 705 01:20:23,841 --> 01:20:27,601 That's all. Is that too much to ask? 706 01:20:29,361 --> 01:20:34,601 But it just seems like a no-go because "No, love's not allowed". 707 01:20:34,761 --> 01:20:38,401 Do you understand what it feels like to want to be loved? 708 01:20:38,561 --> 01:20:42,161 All I want is love, Carl. 709 01:20:42,321 --> 01:20:49,681 - Why won't anybody love me?! - Ulla, Ulla. Ulla? 710 01:20:49,841 --> 01:20:54,681 - Yes? - No, It's not working. 711 01:20:54,841 --> 01:20:56,721 No... 712 01:21:03,881 --> 01:21:08,561 Come on, I could be your mum, Carl. I could be the one - 713 01:21:08,721 --> 01:21:12,481 - who makes breakfast with you, helps you with your homework, - 714 01:21:12,641 --> 01:21:17,921 - who says "good morning" to you and you say "morning, mum". 715 01:21:18,081 --> 01:21:21,401 But hey! There's dad! "Hey, dad!" You see, I haven't eaten him. 716 01:21:21,561 --> 01:21:25,761 What if I ate him... but of course I wouldn't. 717 01:21:25,921 --> 01:21:30,081 We could snuggle up in the evenings by candle light. 718 01:21:30,241 --> 01:21:33,921 - What? - You'd make a lousy stepmother. 719 01:22:55,361 --> 01:22:57,121 Dad! 720 01:23:01,001 --> 01:23:03,081 Are you okay? 721 01:23:04,841 --> 01:23:06,841 I'm sorry. 722 01:23:41,601 --> 01:23:45,121 I think you'd look lovely with long hair. 723 01:24:06,481 --> 01:24:09,441 Is it all right if I kiss you? 724 01:24:11,961 --> 01:24:13,721 Best not. 725 01:24:30,321 --> 01:24:33,761 Our story ends with a kiss. 726 01:24:36,601 --> 01:24:42,041 For despite all the wars and all the monsters, - 727 01:24:42,201 --> 01:24:45,081 - all stories end with two pairs of lips - 728 01:24:45,241 --> 01:24:48,401 - meeting to make peace. 729 01:24:49,881 --> 01:24:54,681 That's why the Earth sings and why the Earth is ours. 730 01:24:56,881 --> 01:25:02,521 And that's why there is always warmth on Earth. 731 01:27:52,201 --> 01:27:56,761 English subtitles Jonathan Sydenham